Funny Letter to Employer Not Working Weekends

Funny inspirational work quotes will help you find your daily grind a little more enjoyable.

Our jobs are undoubtedly a vital part of our lives when we learn different things, experiment with them, and meet people. While working 40 to 50 hours a week, we get the chance to improve ourselves and get better at what we do. We can also make lives better for our families.

So, to help you to get to the end of your journey, below are some of the funniest work quotes. These have been chosen carefully for your amusement. Here's to fun days on the job — even if they might be few and far between!

Best Funny Inspirational Work Quotes

1.) What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.
Vilhjalmur Stefansson

2.) Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.
The Office

3.) His insomnia was so bad that he could not sleep during office hours.
Arthur Baer

4.) Lisa, if you do not like your job, you do not strike. You just go in every day and do it half-assed. That's the American way.
Homer Simpson

5.) Failure is not an option… it comes bundled with the software.
Unknown

6.) It is a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it is a depression when you lose yours.
Harry S. Truman

7.) The elevator to success is out of order. You will have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
Joe Girard

8.) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck

Check out Michael Scott Quotes and Sayings (from The Office)

Good Funny Inspirational Work Quotes

9.) I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

10.) I am so clever that sometimes I do not understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde

11.) Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer

12.) It is just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali

13.) Sometimes, the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.
Unknown

14.) What I do not like about the office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller

You might like Hard Work Inspirational Quotes.

Funny Inspiring Work Sayings

15.) Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great.
Mark Twain

16.) A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they do not have a J.O.B.
Fats Domino

17.) Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
Don Herold

18.) Oh, you hate your job? Why did not you say so? There is a support group for that. It is called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
Drew Carey

19.) I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.
Bill Gates

Funny Job Quotes

20.) Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished.
Leslie Nielsen

21.) I used to work at McDonald's, making minimum wage. Do you know what that means? Do you know what your boss was trying to say? It's like, 'Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.'
Chris Rock

22.) The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost

23.) Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.
Josh Billings

24.) Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams

25.) A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
Henry Kissenger

26.) Leaders who do not listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.
Andy Stanley

Funny Motivational Work Quotes

27.) No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx

28.) I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome

29.) Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas Edison

30.) Every day, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben

31.) Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
Scott Adams

32.) People often say that motivation does not last. Well, neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar

33.) Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you will never get a job working for a tabloid.
Phil Pastoret

You might like Congratulations Success Message Ideas.

Amusing Work Insights

34.) Do not be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.
Zig Ziglar

35.) The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
Oscar Wilde

36.) Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers

37.) I work for myself, which is fun. Except for the time when I call in sick, I always know that I am lying.
Rita Rudner

38.) Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.
Earl Nightingale

39.) I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I am around.
Homer Simpson

40.) My son is now an 'entrepreneur.' That is what you are called when you do not have a job.
Ted Turner

41.) The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
Sarah Brown

42.) The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you have got it.
Groucho Marx

Funny Hard Work Sayings

43.) People who never do any more than they get paid for never get paid for any more than they do.
Elbert Hubbard

44.) If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is working. Y is playing. Z is keeping your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein

45.) The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Vince Lombardi

46.) If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.
Claude McDonald

47.) It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can not eat for eight hours; he can not drink for eight hours, and he can not make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
William Faulkner

48.) It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

49.) When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'.
Don Marquis

Job Humor at its Best

50.) Greatness does not come from taking a "lean back" approach to career planning. Get out in front of opportunity – and it will come to you.
Jocelyn K. Glei

51.) Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Homer Simpson

52.) Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
Charlie McCarthy

53.) Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin

54.) Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you do not have a plan.
Larry Winget

55.) Show me a man who is a good loser, and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
Jim Murray

56.) Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Edgar Bergen

Hilarious Positive Quotes For Work

57.) If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you would not have a job if he was any smarter.
John Gotti

58.) The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What is the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you would get a pulse.
Dennis Miller

59.) As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course, retirement.
Tom Goins

60.) Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.
Douglas Adams

61.) Sometimes, I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
Unknown

62.) I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity, and dreams.
Unknown

63.) My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
Unknown

64.) I have got all the money I will ever need if I die by four o'clock.
Henny Youngman

Any suggestions for funny inspirational work quotes? Just let us know via the contact page.

Funny Workplace Quotes

65.) People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!
Unknown

66.) Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them do not work, and the other half is not so bright.
Unknown

67.) Education costs money. But then again, so does ignorance.
Sir Claus Moser

68.) An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
William Castle

69.) I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Charles Lamb

70.) Anybody, somebody, or nobody is ever going to make your life any more than you are willing to do for yourself. So, stop looking around for anybody to do something for you; instead, get your own body going and get it done now.
Byron Pulsifer

Funny Friday Quotes For Work

71.) Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it is only Thursday.
Unknown

72.) When you start to do the things that you truly love, it would not matter whether it is Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.
Edmond Mbiaka

73.) Music always sounds better on Friday.
Lou Brutus

74.) Leaving work on Friday. Amazing little feeling.
Unknown

75.) Friday makes Monday worth it.
Andy Atticus

76.) Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend.
Unknown

77.) Weekends are life's gift to the ones who hate their jobs.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana

78.) It is Friday… any plan of being a productive member of society is officially thrown out the window.
Unknown

Working for the Weekend: Funny Inspirational Work Quotes

79.) Friday is a day to finish your goals for the week. It is a day to celebrate that which you set out to accomplish at the beginning of the week. Well done.
Byron Pulsifer

80.) Every Friday, I feel like I deserve a new addition to my closet for all my hard work during the week.
Unknown

81.) Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work by noon.
Unknown

82.) People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness.
Raimonda. B

83.) It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind, that determines which way we will go.
Jim Rohn

84.) Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.
Unknown

85.) Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take the time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
Henny Youngman

86.) Here's to another Friday of outward smiles and inward screams.
Unknown

87.) We will continue to have more meetings until we figure out why no work is getting done.
Unknown

Lighthearted Work Quotes

88.) There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
David Letterman

89.) If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.
Dave Berry

90.) There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it? Kin Hubbard

91.) The taxpayer—that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
Ronald Reagan

92.) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell

93.) It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

94.) Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Edison

95.) The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.
Stanley J. Randall

96.) Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.
Pablo Picasso

97.) Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley

98.) As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays and of course, retirement.
Tom Goins

How To Use These Funny Quotes For Work

These sayings will help motivate you through your work journey and may help you share a laugh or two with colleagues.

Here are a few ways to incorporate these quotations into your job setting:

Create a sign of your favorite funny job saying and post it in a prominent spot at the office. Think bulletin board or near the water cooler.
Use a different saying each week as your email close – right after your name and phone number.
At weekly team meetings, hold a contest between two work quotes by reading both out loud and have your team vote on the best.
Text family and friends with a particularly funny work quote.

A job can become monotonous, and sometimes we change our paths when we are in the middle of the journey creating stress. Sometimes it is the colleagues that we don't like and at other times, it is the boss that gives us a hard time. This happens. We need to find good ways to deal with challenges.

Enjoy!

Claire Evans

Claire writes about pop culture, business, and variety.

Etcetera

You're on the Funny Inspirational Work Quotes page.